Albert Pyun Week Day 7: Tales of an Ancient Empire

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s Tales of an Ancient Empire (2010)

Skipping ahead in Albert Pyun’s filmography we come to this film, a highly over ambitious sequel to Pyun’s first directorial outing, The Sword and the Sorcerer.  I say sequel but the connective tissue between the two films is rather thin.  In this film a kingdom is attacked by the vampire sister of the reigning queen.  The queen sends her half sister away to find the mercenary who fathered her and along the way the sister encounters a whole host of bastard children spawned by their adventuring father.

This film has less than half of the budget it needs but even that would not save this woeful script.  The film opens with an absurd amount of exposition and then quickly moves into introductions for a cast that is way to large for the film to handle, it is practically busting at the seams with undeveloped heroes and villains.  On top of all this it is incredibly poorly shot, with cheap visual filters attempting to cover up the cheaper sets.  I said in my last review that Pyun knew how to direct special effects but that needs to be revised, he knows how to direct practical effects and is woefully unable to do the same with CGI, but then again the budget is such that the CGI looks like a cut-scene from a game on the original Playstation.  And then there is the editing, half of the cuts are jump cuts, maybe more, it is awful.

I will give this movie one thing, Kevin Sorbo.  I have never been a fan of Sorbo but in this film his charisma shines through his limited appearance and the only watchable moments are with him as he manages to make a few of the banal quips and jokes his roguish dastard of a character are given actually amusing.  But other than that this film is rather trite and foul, I highly recommend it to give you a perspective on what truly bad movies look like because it is at the very least quite short.  1/5

Albert Pyun Week Day 6: Omega Doom

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s Omega Doom (1996)

Omega Doom is essentially Yojimbo with robots.  The robots and humans fought a great war, as they do, and in the end the machines won.  But instead of building a new world of robots, they fall upon themselves, unable to shake their destructive programming.  Out of the madness of this dark age comes Omega Doom (yes that’s actually a characters name) a war robot who was damaged and lost his genocidal programming.  Now with a free will and conscience he wanders into a ruined town in which two gangs of military robots have come to a standstill as they compete to find a secret stash of guns.

Rutger Hauer plays Omega Doom and while he is obviously slumming it, his steely blue gaze is as intense as ever and is pretty essential to this film’s action.  Unfortunately Hauer can’t do much in the way of action and the budget probably did not cover a stunt man, or if it did it was only in one scene.  So the way Pyun gets around this is to make the action almost all fall into the spaghetti western style of duels in which a long build up is followed by a single motion which then ends the fight.  Those aforementioned steely blues go along way to creating the intensity in these fights but then the finale tries to make a real fight of it and it is just simply poor.

The thing I did really enjoy about this film was that it was shot in a real ruin, the set is truly dilapidated because it is that in real life.  This grants the film an air of verisimilitude far greater than it’s modest budget would imply.  The special effects are also pretty good, or at least well framed.  A film can spend a billion dollars on effects and still look like garbage if the director sets it up poorly.  Thankfully most of Albert Pyun’s experience has been with special effects in this vein so despite the low budget afforded them, he really makes them work for the film.

This film is quite a mixed bag, most of the actors are quite flat, which I suppose works for their robotic characters, but Rutger Hauer doesn’t even have to try to be charismatic, he just is.  Norbert Weisser plays the comic relief and puts in way more energy than anyone else, he gets some of the best quips and is hardly as annoying as the role could have been in lesser hands.  But this is an action movie and the action does not cut it, it is stiff and confusingly directed because of the need to cover up the lack of action chops on set.  I would recommend it to fans of Hauer just to see how good he still is when he barely tries and also to any fan of that apocalyptic style which is totally great.  3/5

Albert Pyun Week Day 5: Heatseeker

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s Heatseeker (1995)

You don’t have to look very hard to collect a mountain of schlocky fighting tournament movies.  This particular picture focuses on a fighting tournament between cyborg warriors, pitting different corporations and their proprietary systems against each other.  But to make the tournament really meaningful, the nefarious organizers desire the top level unaugmented fighter to compete and since he is obviously unwilling to compete they must stoop to kidnapping his wife for leverage.

If the protagonist was a more likable character, or even much of a character at all, this could be a fun little piece of kung fu cyber camp, but he is bland and without many defining features.  When he does get around to emoting he comes off as a bit of a prick, so maybe it is thankful he does not emote very often.  It would be nice if there were any other characters of note, but even the villain is just a cliche evil capitalist hosting an immoral fighting tournament, as you do.

There is plenty good action in this movie and it is very fast paced in terms of getting from one fight to the next.  But there is no emotional engagement to these conflicts for the most part; because the main character is such a bore the only drama is derived from the villain doing terrible things to him and his wife.  Frankly I think the way they build drama here is lazy, a shortcut to get around not having engaging characters, just make the villain into rape and mind control despite that not benefiting his scheme in any real way.

The idea of a fighting league of superhuman, genetically engineered and cybernetically upgraded ultra-fighters is a totally solid one, but a concept is not enough for a good film and in every other element this film botches the execution.  One would think that such a tournament would be filled with over the top, colourful combatants but I actually had difficulty telling them apart.  This film should have a heck of a lot more attitude than it does and that is my final thought on it, a wasted opportunity for something fun.  1/5

Albert Pyun Week Day 4: Nemesis

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s Nemesis (1992)

Albert Pyun has gone on record as saying he was never particularly interested in post apocalyptic or cyberpunk stories, directing so many movies of the type because it was so easy at the time to get them made.  While I doubt he was being dishonest, Pyun undersells his own ability to tell these types of stories and perhaps more importantly his eye for imagery perfect for the subject matter.  Nemesis tells the tale of a burned out cyber cop from LA in a world that seems to be falling apart.  This cop, Alex, is forced out of retirement to hunt down an ex lover of his who has betrayed the law because she discovered a secret plot to start a war between cyborgs and everyone else.

While this film does not really maintain a solid or well thought out theme throughout that has not been done better elsewhere (Robocop, Ghost in the Shell) it does touch on some interesting sci-fi elements, Namely a cyborg’s ownership of their own body.  This theme may not be central to the film, which is really just about the action, but let’s admit that this is schlock in which any issues raised at all are welcome as long as they don’t distract from the action.

Said action is mostly John Woo inspired bullet mayhem, making use of cyborg’s inherent bullet resistance and durability in some expert ways.  This film is chock full of creative stunt work and violence, it doesn’t just pull the shooting a hole through the floor trick, the main character goes from the third floor all the way to the basement!  As the fighting gets fierce , the frame is filled with sparks and debris, it’s bayhem before bayhem and done with incredible practical effects.  Bayhem for those who are not in the know is the particular style of visual carnage that Michael Bay popularized and is literally everywhere in modern Hollywood.

From the intense and fun action to the clever effects work and intriguing plot, Nemesis is pretty much everything I want from this kind of B-Movie.  It even has some solid acting, Olivier Gruner plays Alex and while he is not so great at vocally emoting his face is the subtle kind of expressive necessary to play a cyborg.  One issue this film does have is a loose definition of cyborg, which seems to mean here something closer to android, while characters who are cyborgs by modern vernacular standards, i.e. they have integrated technology into their body, are considered totally human.  Despite some confusing diction I was totally drawn into this movie as a wonderful piece of 90’s action camp, it is a fast paced romp through a fun and cleverly designed setting that should appeal to anyone ready to laugh at an old granny pumping an entire magazine into a cyborg’s skull.  4/5

Albert Pyun Week Day 3: Cyborg

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s Cyborg (1989)

Jean-Claude Van Damme is simply not a very good actor, yet I am still always excited to see his flicks.  There are plenty of stars out there who have reached the top of the trade despite a lack of skill, there have been plenty of actors who have won awards for essentially just playing themselves.  So what about him is so appealing?  Well to me there are two things he does well, as an action hero he has a great physique and plenty of moves, beyond that he has this child like wonder in many of his earlier works, he just seems happy to be there and along for the adventure.

In this film Van Damme takes on the role of  mercenary in an apocalyptic wasteland who has been hired to protect a cyborg woman who is transporting a cure for a world destroying plague that has crippled humanity.  But Van Damme has ulterior motives as the pirates who hunt the cyber woman have also done wrong by the muscles from Brussels.  Vincent Klyne plays the villain who wants to control the cure as he loves the opportunities for mayhem it has created.

There are some strange elements to this film that speak to another film idea that never came to pass.  The main character’s name is Gibson Rickenbacker and the villain is Fender Tremolo and in interviews Pyun has stated that he wanted this film to be a rock opera, expanding on the ideas he worked with in Radioactive Dreams.  This obviously was not the film we have today and the final product is just a little boring and droll in a way some pumping rock jams would have really sorted out.  This idea would have played better to Van Damme’s strengths, when he has fun, it is infectious and this movie lacks that sense of fun.

But it isn’t all bad, Van Damme is young and his action work is pretty solid here and Vincent Klyne is an intense villain that makes the film come alive every time he is on screen.  The film also has a solid look to it and Pyun is great at making spaces that seem dangerous yet enticing.  This is not a very good movie and it is rather plain in terms of story, but it is well paced and if you just need a fix of classic Mad Max ripoff-chic, I would recommend it.  3/5

Albert Pyun Week Day 2: Radioactive Dreams

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s Radioactive Dreams (1985)

In the near future of 1996 nuclear war is waged and all of the world’s nuclear weapons are launched, save one.  Phillip and Marlowe were very young boys when the bombs dropped and they grew up together in a vault loaded with cultural ephemera of the 1950’s so when they finally get out, it is their dreams to become private detectives.  The film gets some good laughs early on as they introduce themselves to the wasteland denizens as a pair of ‘big time dicks’ and using other hilariously outdated slang.  This duo become unlikely heroes as they get wrapped up in a plot to control the two keys that control the last remaining nuke.

This is such a unique film, the concept is as fresh today as it was then and perhaps even more so considering the return of apocalyptic narratives.  The film is really a coming of age rock opera that focuses more on overcoming the grimness inherent to the genre than reveling in it.  So of course, there is a lot of 80’s style pop rock and new age electro setting the tone of the film, there is a smattering of swing music to help establish the protagonist’s and I honestly thought they could have leaned into the 50’s music a bit more.

A lot of my issues with this film come from the woeful state of it’s home releases, having only ever come out on VHS with the exception of a rare DVD from Germany.  The imagery is frequently quite creative but the low quality it is presented in does it no favours.  I talked briefly about the remastering of Star Wars as being downright criminal but that was because those instances re-edited scenes, added whole new sequences and did more than a simple touch up.  But films like this one here could really use the work of tidying up the images, the finale of his film is simply too dark because the drop in quality throws off the contrast and makes it too extreme to see anything.  This movie is quite fun and I would like to see it in a cleaner state than the aged VHS.

Radioactive Dreams is a fun and jaunty romp through the radioactive wasteland that should appeal to many fans of post apocalyptic media.  It has an original concept and it plays it to the hilt; the protagonists transforming from hopeless nerds to hardboiled badasses and then into something a little nicer and more reasonable is the kind of light hearted positivism film seems to need more of.  4/5

Albert Pyun Week Day 1: The Sword and the Sorcerer

Today I watched Albert Pyun’s The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

 

We kick off Albert Pyun week with a classic slice of 80’s fantasy cheese.  The film opens with the nefarious Cromwell resurrecting a long dead sorcerer and bartering for his power to overthrow King Richard.  Cromwell uses this black magic but on the eve of his victory he betrays the sorcerer and casts him off of a cliff.  This does little to hinder his assent to the throne but Richard’s eldest son escapes into the wilderness.  The son, Talon, grows up to become a roguish, Conan the Barbarian-esque mercenary and when he finally returns to the kingdom another noble, a distant relative has already launched a rebellion.  Meanwhile the evil sorcerer is still alive, of course, and he subtly manipulates events to forward his own boundless ambition.

This movie does a surprisingly good at balancing all of these plot threads and explaining everyone’s angle.  Throughout the film Cromwell always imagines that every threat to his kingdom originates from the betrayed sorcerer which keeps that distant threat present despite the Sorcerer being pretty far in the background for most of the film.  Cromwell is also a solid villain in his own right, his paranoia makes him keenly intelligent and he consistently foils the protagonists until the very end.

Talon, the protagonist, is quite rough around the edges, his life of violence and the chip on his shoulder from having witnessed his mother and father’s deaths are all readily apparent.  Perhaps the film revels too much in his antiheroic nature though, it is too easy to forget that the flaws that make such characters compelling are still flaws.  This runs into some classic 80’s misogyny which makes one or two scenes more than a little uncomfortable.  It would be one thing if Talon’s arc included learning to respect women a little more but this is not focused on.

Despite some moral issues the film is well paced and comes to quite the action packed climax.  The special effects are quite good here, especially the gore which produces some surprisingly grotesque moments.  It is quite a derivative work but it offers pure entertainment without cynicism, it may hold itself with a certain naivete but that is practically a required feature for what it is.  As a piece of classic fantasy film fare you can go plenty more wrong than this entertaining flick.  4/5

Albert Pyun Week

While auteur theorists and art house idealists may be the face of film as a respectable art forms, I have always felt a stronger connection to pulp and if box office numbers are to be believed so too does most of the medium’s audience.  The moving picture was conceived of as low brow entertainment, a staged magical act that was taken to an extreme, and the lifeblood of films has always been audience pleasing and often vacuous entertainment.

It would be as wrong to generalize the creators of pulp as being purely artless hacks, or even as exploitative, just as it would be wrong to generalize high brow directors as snooty and pretentious academics.  Sometimes great artists get their start in low and mid tier productions like the so called ‘Corman Film School.’  But to me the true artists of pulp are usually not widely admired.  Enter Albert Pun, described by some as the 90’s answer to Ed Wood and like Ed Wood he surrounds otherwise generic scripts with his own eccentricities and interests.

Pyun’s most notable work was enable by the huge video market and the lower level production companies that popped up to facilitate the demand.  He was involved with the infamous Golan Globus company and pumped out quite a few films blending martial arts action, cheap post apocalyptic settings, and many cyborgs.  Many of these films define the 90’s style and the strange, fetishistic tropes that were inescapable at the time in a way that only films made for the unique video industry at the time can.